I’m writing this post to Future Mariella to aid in retrospection of the Coronavirus outbreak.

Currently(March 13th, 2020 3:52pm EST), I am watching live coverage(Youtube; ya girl don’t do cable) of NBC New’s special report on President Donald Trump’s declaration of a National Emergency.

Here is what I am seeing:

• A president who is hated by many for the hateful things he has said and done, fulfilling his role as Father of the Country in soothing the mass hysteria by listing what the government will be doing to stop this evil virus. This is the same man who is hoping for re-election this November.
• Bruce Greenstein from LHC group, marketing for his corporation. He is “here to help”, but not before listing the wonderful services his company provides on national television. It is important that the American public remembers the name “LHC group” fondly during and after this crisis. That they were “here for us.” He is just one of many corporate faces that have graced the screen to remind the public who is really here for them.
• A people who is so easily controlled by fear that they will purchase all the toilet paper available in the area, and on Amazon.com.
• Purchases, purchases, purchases. A kind staff member of the Weiss by my house told me this morning that the average person has spent over $300 a cart on groceries. This is just one grocery store in a little town.
• Lockdowns. Public assembly is no longer allowed in order to prevent the spread of the virus.
• Gas prices lowering. Trump reminding us(on national television) that this is “a good time to fill it up. Fill it up, fill it up.” My dad told me that they might be closing gas stations.
• The very first words of Mike Pence: “Thank you Mr. President. This day should be an inspiration to every American. Because thanks to your leadership from early on, not only are we bringing a whole-of-government approach to confronting the Coronavirus, were bringing a all-of-America approach. Mr. President, from early on, you took decisive action. You suspended all travel from China, you created travel advisories, South Korea and Italy. We screened all travelers from both of those countries. And on the unanimous recommendation of your health experts, you at midnight tonight will effectively suspend all travel from Europe. And Americans returning will be screened and asked to voluntarily participate in a 14-day quarantine. Throughout this process, Mr. President, you have put the health of America first. But you brought the best of America to address it.”
  • A few lines later: “We have been in continuous contact, as you said, with all governors across the country. Mr. President, you have forged a seamless partnership with every state and every territory in this country to put the health of our nation first.”
  • He continues on: “But today I trust that people around the country that are looking on at this extraordinary public and private partnership to address the issue of testing with particular inspiration.”
  • The companies he thanks in his speech: Walmart, CVS, Target, Walgreens.
  • Something about a fucking parking lot being donated for drive thru testing. Woohoo.
  • Something about looking after seniors in seniors homes. “They helped us with our homework, tucked us in at night…”
  • Another mention about a public/private partnership. “Together we put the health of America first.”
• “Temporary, National Blanket Measures” to prevent potential obstacles in testing(are they trying out universal health care?)
• These are just a few of the things in this special report that stood out to me.

Other things I have noticed

• Racism

To be continued…..

Learning about the various medications used to manage diabetes honestly shook me. Why? Because there are so many side effects!

There is short acting, rapid acting, long acting insulin, each with different administration times, each with different peak times(or none at all). Sulfonylureas can have Antabuse like effects if taken with alcohol. Pancreatitis is a common adverse effect of several drug classes. Two types of drugs called Amylin Mimetics and Incretin Mimetics work by slowing gastric emptying, which could inhibit proper absorption of other medications you might be taking. I know myself well enough to say I would struggle too if I was in this position.

Isn’t it enough to be sick? Shouldn’t medicine heal us, not cause more pain? But this is the life of millions(34.2 to be exact) of people in just America alone. I think many “non-compliant” diabetics out there genuinely have trouble managing their health because maintaining an insulin schedule alone is a lot of stress!

What hurts my soul is knowing that such a problem could be prevented in the first place. In Diabetes Mellitus, the body is unable to regulate blood sugar because of insulin resistance, or inadequate insulin production. It is caused by a diet high in fat. Research has shown that a vegan diet can not only prevent, but reverse diabetes mellitus.

A plant-based diet is a powerful tool for preventing, managing, and even reversing type 2 diabetes. Not only is this the most delicious ‘prescription’ you can imagine, but it’s also easy to follow. Unlike other diets, there’s no calorie counting, no skimpy portions, and no carb counting. Plus, all the ‘side effects’ are good ones. 

Neal Barnard, MD, FACC, President, Physicians Committee

Diabetes. (n.d.). Retrieved March 4, 2020, from https://www.pcrm.org/health-topics/diabetes

Are we as a global society so powerless to the animal agriculture industry that we will continue to make people sick for a few more generations? When will we look after our own?

The consumption of animals as “food,” clothing, objects etc. cause harm to billions of innocent beings who want to live, just like you and I. And now we are seeing that the end product of this cruelty is ill health for our fellow humans.

The power to change our future as a global community is in our individual hands.

Yesterday I had an opportunity to chime in during our mental health discussion during lab. While I was nervous to speak, I knew that my message was important. It is very easy to “other” a person with mental illness by reducing them to a label for the sake of convenience: “The manic ones,” “the bipolar ones,” “paranoid,” “delusional.” A discussion about mental health can easily transform into a cautionary tale about harrowing displays of mental illness symptoms.

We can often strip a person of their personhood with language. I saw this all the time working with the intellectually disabled population. When in public, people tend to see cerebral palsy, autism, and tardive dyskinesia before they see the human being. Similarly, when going down the list of mental illness symptoms it is easy for people to unsee the human being.

Personhood comes before the diagnoses. I’d like to thank The Arc of Washington County for teaching me person-centered support. People with intellectual disabilities are exactly that: people. People with mental illness are people. We should not separate ourselves from our fellow earthlings through labels. This is how we learn the meaning of respect.

If you find yourself afraid, unsettled by the “otherness” of the person in front of you, perhaps there is a lesson in this for you. How do you treat those who are vulnerable? The most vulnerable? An animal perhaps?

Do you think you have been conditioned to separate yourselves from other living beings through the illusion of class, race, sex, ability, or species? Do you believe that “might is right” when it comes to animals? Do you believe that your intellect makes you superior to those who do not have language, such as nonhuman animals?

Maybe I have lost you. Or maybe you see the parallels between the objectification of animals and the objectification of human beings.

We are humbled by the fragility and imperfection of human and nonhuman animals. It is our duty to recognize the miracle of all life.

This past Saturday Beka and I attended a workshop about Undisturbed Birth, hosted by Amy Miller from Red House. It was incredibly enlightening. We watched an elephant birth, a tiger birth, an old documentary clip from late 70’s Brazil on squatting birth, birthing center births, and finally a “natural” birth at a hospital.

I’m now in the process of revising my plans. I did not know that there were multiple pathways to midwifery! According to Amy, CNM’s typically only work in hospitals; a big no-no for me. I’ve never had the desire to work in the hospital, for many reasons.

Primarily, my concerns are regarding the structure of my practice. I know I don’t want to work at a hospital. Am I well suited for a birthing center set up? I’m also concerned about the legality of my license. It turns out, some states have outlawed midwifery outside of CNM.

I am still interested in nursing. I will continue pursuing an LPN license. I’m just not so sure after that. I’ve got some self-exploration to do, which is very exciting. I’m open to change because I know I’m destined for success.

Months ago at my first clinical site(which was a long-term care facility), I shared an unforgettable moment with two beautiful elders.

I told them I wanted to be a midwife. They shared a knowing look with each other and said “isn’t it funny how things are going back to how they used to be?”

The very first healers were midwives. Women and men alike ushered generations of babies into this world. As the developing world changed, and pregnancy/birth became a clinical practice, the healing practice became a multifaceted business of medicine.

I very much feel that this professional pursuit of mine is a travel back in time. I am on a journey to my ancestors. I wish to connect with the ancient islanders that were MY tribe. I carry their legacy with me today.

I want to work with women and children because I find them mystical. I belong to a long, long line of people who were healers. Call them what you want(grandma, mom, manghihilot). I don’t know much about my family history, but intuitively I know that my desire to heal was handed down to me.

Practically speaking, my goal is to become a certified nurse midwife. Currently, I am working on my LPN license and will be seeking employment at birthing centers and the like. Next year I will also be pursuing doula training.

Metaphysically and spiritually speaking, my goal is to immerse myself in the global community…to jump into a web of lives…healing those I touch, King Midas style.

I had the pleasure of working under an extremely kind man by the name of Ralph, and I’ll forever thank him for his short but impactful presence in my life. During my exit interview, not only did we have a meaningful conversation, I walked away with a kernel of wisdom as well. He keeps a literal archive of his life. Professional and personal journal entries, artwork from kids he has counseled, etc. He told me that I cannot underestimate the daily progress I make in nursing school, and that daily journaling of my clinical and professional experiences could be transformative. And thus, this blog was born.

Here I am. It is October 19th, 2019. The air is crisp, the leaves are still fully green. I moved to Brunswick from my 2 year lease in Hagerstown a month ago. I begin OB and Peds on Monday. It’s been magical. My days are full, I feel alive. Today was the first chill day I’ve had, nothing planned…and even then I’ve had a cool ass time. My best friend came over to my apartment with a photographer to do a shoot. I’ve always wanted to live in a creative space, and its so flattering to me that other people recognize the home I’ve carefully cultivated, even though there’s literally no furniture and were broke as fuck lol.

I welcome this new season of my life. Abundance is around me, flowing through me, coming at me.