March 31st
Yesterday, governor Hogan has furthered the lockdown to a point where a person can now face misdemeanor charges if they are found outside of their home for “nonessential” reasons. People are still allowed to go to the grocery store, participate in outdoor activities, receive medical help, and provide care to others. This is my current experience here in Frederick County, MD.
I’ve been engaging in a lot of political discussion online. Some enlightening, others totally for the sake of trolling. People enjoy the righteousness of it all, for sure. It is now totally acceptable to police other people’s behavior(“Stay the fuck home!”), and be nasty in the process(“You moronic c*nt!”). And yes I was not only called a c*nt, but also a right-winger…lol! You can imagine how easy it was for strangers to categorize you how they see fit.
The one debate that I’m drawn to is whether or not to question the actions of the government in curtailing our freedom of assembly and movement. My one friend mentioned quite observantly that all totalitarian actions in the pasts were deemed “necessary.” It make sense honestly, if you think about it. Take the virus out of the picture, and quarantining people would be a public hate crime. Throw a virus(that is less deadly than influenza) into a media-controlled population, and quarantining is a logical conclusion.
I could go on and on about my conspiracy theories, but those are saved for private conversations.
I have no way of knowing what the rest of the world looks like, apart from scattered google searches and the global window that is the internet.
The people I see at the grocery store continue their absent-minded dance without proper 6ft “social distancing.” But I sense the anxiety in the air; that electric excitement as we all “go through this together.” The public has never been this aware of each other. Life was separate, and now united under this virus.
I am on my 3rd week of online learning. School shutdowns and the lockdowns began on the 3rd to last day of spring break. School has been the only grounding preoccupation for me. It is a blessing to be honest. I don’t know what I would be doing if I was not productive with something.
But the days do run into each other, and I have no set schedule. It is liberating but also….confusing? I am so used to disciple and order. Telling myself “you should be doing this instead….you don’t have time for that….you can relax later when you’re done..” It is something I absorbed from my mother.
I am now learning how to be myself in a different way. Cooped up, but free from outside influence.
araw araw 